Grief is uncontrollable, unpredictable, and, most of all, absolutely exhausting. After my mom passed away, I didn’t go a day without deep, painful, uncontrollable sobbing. It was the kind of crying where your heart literally aches, no air remains in your lungs, and every sob contracts your body more and more into the fetal position.

While the crying itself was insufferable, so too was the hangover that followed. Puffy, red eyes, an aching chest, and a throbbing headache were just a few of the more obvious hangover symptoms I faced. What I didn’t know was how much adrenaline and cortisol were also surging through my body, wreaking havoc. A cycle that was only made worse by the sugar, fat, caffeine, and alcohol I was leaning on for comfort. I wish I had known how much my suffering could have been lessened with supportive herbs and foods.

The Toll of Crying

Crying places a significant amount of stress on the body and depletes it of electrolytes, water, and glucose, all of which are vital for various bodily functions. The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight or flight response, putting the body in a constant state of stress. This kind of chronic stress can lead to long-term illness, which is why it’s essential to address these deficiencies as soon as possible. 

Post-Cry Self Care

Throughout the course of my own struggles, I’ve developed a post-cry self-care routine that soothes the physical and emotional toll of grief. This holistic approach emerged from a significant dietary and lifestyle shift I made to overcome the chronic illness that had resulted from grief. My hope is that it can alleviate your suffering and, perhaps, even prevent future chronic illness.

Post-Cry Necessities:

• Fresh aloe vera, preferably cold
• Liquid ashwagandha extract
• Adrenal support tea blend or lemon balm tea
• Raw honey
• Fresh fruit, especially melon
• Lemon
• Cozy clothes, socks, and slippers

Bonus Items:

• Adrenal support essential oil blend
• Weighted blanket
• Candles
• Grounding crystals

Post-Cry Self-Care Routine

1. Aloe Vera Relief: Grab some chilled aloe vera and put it on your face and eyes to soothe and de-puff.

2. Ashwagandha Support: Take some ashwagandha extract with a bit of water to give your adrenal glands the support they need, especially after all that stress.

3. Brew a Calming Tea: Make yourself a cup of adrenal supportive or calming tea and sweeten it with raw honey to calm your nerves.

4. Rehydrate and Replenish: Pour a glass of water, add some lemon and a spoonful of raw honey to quickly get back your glucose and electrolytes.

5. Get Comfy: Slip into something cozy, especially since your heart could use a little extra comfort right now.

6. Create a Relaxing Atmosphere: Light a couple of candles in a dim room and find a comfy spot to do some calming yoga. The supported child’s pose is great, especially with a weighted blanket.

7. Sip and Focus on Breath: Sip your tea when you feel like it and spend 10-20 minutes in your chosen yoga pose focusing on your breathing.

8. Nourishing Snacks: Once you start feeling more at ease (usually when your tummy rumbles), snack on some fresh melon or berries for an extra dose of glucose and vital nutrients to support your immune system.

9. Stay Hydrated and Rest: Over the next few hours, drink plenty of water, eat as much as you want, especially healthy carbohydrates, and prioritize some quality rest.

10. Indulge in a Feel-Good Movie: Get comfy under the covers and enjoy your favorite feel-good movie in bed to soothe your soul.

This self-care routine goes beyond soothing puffy eyes and calming frazzled nerves. It also assists in returning your blood pressure and heart rate to their usual rhythm, shifting your body from ‘fight or flight’ mode to ‘rest and digest’ mode, all while replenishing the essential glucose your brain needs to function. I truly wish I’d known all of this when I began my journey through grief. Grief self-care should encompass the whole spectrum, because it’s not only about allowing yourself to grieve but also about caring for your entire being—body, mind, and spirit.